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Tuesday 5 September 2017

Risk Or Challenge Creative Writing

Image result for adrenalin forest
Have you ever been 20 meters above ground zooming tree to tree? Well I have, it was on the level 5b at a place called Adrenaline Forest. Getting up there was a challenge, not as much as a challenge of zooming tree to tree on a zip line full of adrenaline. As I got up for my go, my heart sank to the bottom of my chest as I stared below me, everyone below me was small like ants and the trees as tall as the the Eiffel Tower. I hooked my carrabeena onto the wire as I was instructed. My fellow school mates cheering me on Go Xing! Go Xing! Go Xing!


I trembled in fear as I leaped off and zoomed across to the other platform as I thought... My heart sunk, all of a sudden I stopped. I looked around, I was stuck, with another peer about to leap. My heart beating as fast as a cheetah chasing its prey. I struggled in hurry, trying to pull myself to the other platform which seemed like an eternity.


I’m meters off the platform, I leaned back trying to reach the platform with my legs. I feel the wire shaking and heard the peer screaming HURRY! HURRY! HURRY! I finally managed to reach the platform with my right foot, with the peer closing in, I give it my all in my final attempt to pull myself in, I managed to pull myself onto the platforms with with seconds to spare. My heart beats are like hummingbirds flapping their wings, and legs as wobbly as jelly. I let the peer that was behind to to go as the calmed from that rush of adrenaline.


I was up to the last zipline till I reached ground level. Another peer was coming to my platform from another tree in the distance, the tree leaned the way he was coming from like a fish pulling against a fishing rod. My legs wobble as I imagined the tree snapping. The end tree looked like a thin twig from the platform I was standing on. I took my final leap of faith, the wind pushing against my face made it very hard to visualize the platform. As I imagined millions and millions of outcomes, I was frightened. Nearly frightened to death.


The tree got bigger and bigger as I got closer. I prepared for the impact of which was gonna come when I strike barricade. I lifted my legs ready to absorb the impact. I miss judged. Bam straight into the side with my shoulder, the pain was nothing at most it just left a scar for me to remember my time there. We were all rewarded with warm delicious pizza.

I guess if I didn’t take up this opportunity, I would have never experience the rush of adrenaline that filled my veins up and would look like a chicken in front of others.

6 comments:

  1. Xing, I really enjoyed your writing. Especially how you compared your heartbeat to hummingbirds flapping their wings. I now understand how much better a piece of writing is with similes. Maybe next time you could proof read your writing a bit more as you have a few mistakes but other than that it was great!

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    1. Thank you so much Cinnamon for your feedback. I will remember to proof read my work next time.

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  2. I really like that you stated your emotions, I now understand the fear you felt, maybe next time you can use more descriptive words in paragraph 5

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    1. Thanks so much Megan. I will try to.

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  3. Xing, I really enjoyed reading the similes you included in your writing like 'small like ants, and as tall as the Eiffel Tower, and as wobbly as Jelly.' These similes and other features in your writing made me understand how scared you were. Maybe next time add some more descriptive words, but apart from that it was a great story.

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    1. Thanks Juanita for your feedback, I might need you help to come up with more descriptive words :)

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